Texts From Last Night · riles11h's Favorites

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riles11h's Favorites Texts:

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(615): View more from Tennessee

my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

Fav 5 1088 492
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(925): View more from California

You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.

Fav 4 1090 511
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(239): View more from Florida

Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you

Fav 3 1188 676
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.

Fav 1 766 593
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(310): View more from California

Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.

Fav 3 805 536
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(616): View more from Michigan

At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says

Fav 2 812 540
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(315): View more from New York

So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.

Fav 1 488 963
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