Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (517)

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out

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  (517): On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out http://tfl.nu/qemu
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  just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.

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  (517): just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out. http://tfl.nu/s711
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  Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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  (517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a
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  I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.

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  (517): I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen. http://tfl.nu/y9v8
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  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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  (517): the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/ah1s
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  she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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  (517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq
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  bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.

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  Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.

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  (231): bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this. (517): Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one. http://tfl.nu/v0gx
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  the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season

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  (517): the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season http://tfl.nu/k0xy
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  I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

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  (517): I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair. http://tfl.nu/elj5
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  Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.

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  (517): Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity. http://tfl.nu/x1wn
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  dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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  (517): dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it. http://tfl.nu/4nb9
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  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

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  (517): Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you http://tfl.nu/77p0
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  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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  (517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder. http://tfl.nu/xinc
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  Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

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  (517): Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions... http://tfl.nu/wg6s
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  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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  (517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there. http://tfl.nu/pbyg
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