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Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
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