Texts From Last Night

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(619): View more from California

Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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(619): Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket. http://tfl.nu/fgzh

Replies (0) Good night (16) Bad night (5)
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(313): View more from Michigan

We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

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(313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn

Replies (0) Good night (21) Bad night (14) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.

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(425): You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you. http://tfl.nu/vxkn

Replies (2) Good night (35) Bad night (18) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?

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(614): So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes? http://tfl.nu/y2f0

Replies (1) Good night (57) Bad night (22) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand

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(832): I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand http://tfl.nu/owk1

Replies (1) Good night (34) Bad night (32) Order T-Shirt
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

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(856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex

Replies (2) Good night (67) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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(902): Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party http://tfl.nu/fwjk

Replies (0) Good night (22) Bad night (22) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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(630): like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ihww

Replies (0) Good night (25) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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(785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc

Replies (0) Good night (41) Bad night (14) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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(207): But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on! http://tfl.nu/iftt

Replies (3) Good night (50) Bad night (91) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

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(530): im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either. http://tfl.nu/lxlu

Replies (1) Good night (54) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt
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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

(509): View more from Washington

you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

(971): View more from Oregon

goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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(971): I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH. (509): you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left (971): goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan http://tfl.nu/bxrp

Replies (1) Good night (136) Bad night (18)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.

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(412): I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/c3ar

Replies (2) Good night (39) Bad night (52) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"

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(336): Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem" http://tfl.nu/nmt9

Replies (1) Good night (100) Bad night (28) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

(1-515): View more from Iowa

I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

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(515): We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place (1-515): I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/93u8

Replies (0) Good night (105) Bad night (48)

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