Texts From Last Night

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(941): View more from Florida

He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.

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(941): He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward. http://tfl.nu/8plk

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(231): View more from Michigan

Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

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(231): Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often? http://tfl.nu/yhxm

Replies (0) Good night (54) Bad night (12) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?

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(918): Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision? http://tfl.nu/w6zq

Replies (4) Good night (179) Bad night (12) Order T-Shirt
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(940): View more from Texas

Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?

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(940): Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito? http://tfl.nu/3rt4

Replies (4) Good night (173) Bad night (17) Order T-Shirt
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(712): View more from Iowa

Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth

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(712): Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth http://tfl.nu/h1gj

Replies (4) Good night (23) Bad night (103)
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(850): View more from Florida

Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.

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(850): Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class. http://tfl.nu/j52p

Replies (1) Good night (89) Bad night (56)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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(678): Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min. http://tfl.nu/nnq2

Replies (7) Good night (39) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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(615): You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs http://tfl.nu/j07e

Replies (1) Good night (140) Bad night (18) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.

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(314): you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything. http://tfl.nu/wqjw

Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (20) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid

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(715): if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid http://tfl.nu/otel

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(201): View more from New Jersey

U took a sewing needle to his nipple

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Psshh,

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(201): U took a sewing needle to his nipple (1-201): Psshh, http://tfl.nu/q54n

Replies (2) Good night (70) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
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(347): View more from New York

Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta

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(347): Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta http://tfl.nu/zwtd

Replies (2) Good night (160) Bad night (45)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?

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(507): Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth? http://tfl.nu/1qlq

Replies (5) Good night (227) Bad night (56) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

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(614): This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up! http://tfl.nu/jjmt

Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (30)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

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(412): I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila. http://tfl.nu/4mhj

Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (37) Order T-Shirt

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