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Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
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