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    (503): View more from Oregon

    Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

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    Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0) Order T-Shirt
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    (303): View more from Colorado

    as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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    Replies (0) Good night (8) Bad night (2)
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    (803): View more from South Carolina

    I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other

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    (443): View more from Maryland

    Something about Sunday night screams phone sex

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    Replies (0) Good night (25) Bad night (17) Order T-Shirt
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    (314): View more from Missouri

    I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.

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    Replies (0) Good night (55) Bad night (7) Order T-Shirt
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    (714): View more from California

    So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.

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    Replies (0) Good night (26) Bad night (14) Order T-Shirt
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    (850): View more from Florida

    Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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    Replies (2) Good night (36) Bad night (14) Order T-Shirt
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    (414): View more from Wisconsin

    i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school

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    Replies (1) Good night (67) Bad night (20) Order T-Shirt
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    (816): View more from Missouri

    You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex

    (816): View more from Missouri

    ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship

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    Replies (0) Good night (87) Bad night (14)
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    (707): View more from California

    I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.

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    Replies (2) Good night (43) Bad night (12) Order T-Shirt
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    (425): View more from Washington

    I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday

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    Replies (0) Good night (57) Bad night (19) Order T-Shirt
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    (410): View more from Maryland

    He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

    (410): View more from Maryland

    I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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    Replies (0) Good night (155) Bad night (10)
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    (580): View more from Oklahoma

    She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

    (580): View more from Oklahoma

    I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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    Replies (0) Good night (78) Bad night (26)
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    (719): View more from Colorado

    The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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    Replies (1) Good night (87) Bad night (26)
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    (612): View more from Minnesota

    I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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    Replies (0) Good night (89) Bad night (28) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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