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i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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