Texts From Last Night

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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(717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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(570): You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG." http://tfl.nu/j0ai

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

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(479): He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish. http://tfl.nu/o2hu

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(956): View more from Texas

I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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(956): I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vvm8

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED

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(570): WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED http://tfl.nu/najp

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(416): View more from Toronto

cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.

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(416): cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/bx4b

Replies (0) Good night (44) Bad night (18)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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(610): So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night?? http://tfl.nu/qtcd

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.

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(201): I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever. http://tfl.nu/v0jl

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(757): View more from Virginia

She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.

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(757): She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night. http://tfl.nu/eco5

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(757): View more from Virginia

Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.

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(757): Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers. http://tfl.nu/o7tu

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(438): View more from Quebec

I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

(1-438): View more from Quebec

God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

(438): View more from Quebec

Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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(438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35

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(651): View more from Minnesota

god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.

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(651): god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again. (508): I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended. http://tfl.nu/x893

Replies (1) Good night (67) Bad night (37)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.

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(501): I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT. http://tfl.nu/wa70

Replies (1) Good night (100) Bad night (54)
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(518): View more from New York

There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."

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(518): There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina." http://tfl.nu/mvmf

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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(603): Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy? http://tfl.nu/plt7

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