Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of Today

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro. http://tfl.nu/6fem
  Replies (4) Good night (80) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (4) Good night (68) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car http://tfl.nu/rca8
  Replies (4) Good night (38) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean come on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off (720): I mean come on http://tfl.nu/0ezx
  Replies (5) Good night (56) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/cwc2
  Replies (3) Good night (134) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast. http://tfl.nu/061g
  Replies (4) Good night (258) Bad night (98) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks http://tfl.nu/ndt4
  Replies (3) Good night (163) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/exdp
  Replies (2) Good night (86) Bad night (72) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point http://tfl.nu/whly
  Replies (3) Good night (128) Bad night (62) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand. http://tfl.nu/z0q1
  Replies (3) Good night (134) Bad night (58) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/mh8s
  Replies (6) Good night (197) Bad night (51) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm http://tfl.nu/kthz
  Replies (1) Good night (197) Bad night (50) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro http://tfl.nu/if95
  Replies (0) Good night (112) Bad night (41) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room. http://tfl.nu/y8jv
  Replies (2) Good night (136) Bad night (41)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day. http://tfl.nu/mbwl
  Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (39) Order T-Shirt