Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (414)

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids

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  (414): And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids http://tfl.nu/86i1
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  wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

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  (414): wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me. http://tfl.nu/3pdz
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  Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night

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  (414): Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night http://tfl.nu/d0sx
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  Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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  (414): Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended http://tfl.nu/wygn
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  i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school

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  (414): i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school http://tfl.nu/pd3u
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  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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  (414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f
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  She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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  (414): She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/h8q1
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  I think I died last night.

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  Yeah, you got carried home

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  (708): I think I died last night. (414): Yeah, you got carried home http://tfl.nu/8211
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  They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.

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  (414): They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe. http://tfl.nu/qow6
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  I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...

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  (414): I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands... http://tfl.nu/mwqv
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  How's dating the med student working out for you?

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  After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.

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  A true anatomy project.

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  (414): How's dating the med student working out for you? (715): After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was. (414): A true anatomy project. http://tfl.nu/in9w
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (168)
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  i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.

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  (414): i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now. http://tfl.nu/jexc
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  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

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  (414): No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/kebr
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  Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON

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  (414): Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON http://tfl.nu/rpwp
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  Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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  (414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27
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