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grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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