Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (478)

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.

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  (478): So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando. http://tfl.nu/7jrk
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  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
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  I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."

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  (478): I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions." http://tfl.nu/mmu9
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  How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

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  We'll talk about it later...

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  (478): How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses (770): We'll talk about it later... http://tfl.nu/vxl3
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  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
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  It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"

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  (478): It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT" http://tfl.nu/0wpw
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  IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV

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  (478): IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV http://tfl.nu/p33s
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  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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  (478): I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second. http://tfl.nu/3zb1
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  So. How about you can get tequila certified...

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  (478): So. How about you can get tequila certified... http://tfl.nu/1yln
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  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
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  Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."

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  (478): Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like." http://tfl.nu/6r4y
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  Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!

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  (478): Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink! http://tfl.nu/6ksq
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  We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.

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  (478): We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties. http://tfl.nu/dlxy
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  Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

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  (478): Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy. http://tfl.nu/ujmz
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  He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.

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  (478): He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him. http://tfl.nu/w7kg
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