Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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  Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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  (724): Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ynfj
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  He stood me up.

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  I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.

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  (724): He stood me up. (724): I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone. http://tfl.nu/xslj
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  What am I doing with my life

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  Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.

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  (724): What am I doing with my life (1-724): Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently. http://tfl.nu/ll9w
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  I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense

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  (724): I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense http://tfl.nu/8zya
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  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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  (724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn
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  i need some food

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  Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.

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  (724): i need some food (412): Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him. http://tfl.nu/mb52
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  You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.

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  (724): You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures. http://tfl.nu/2cky
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  umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP

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  (724): umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP http://tfl.nu/bluu
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  I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.

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  (724): I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower. http://tfl.nu/44q1
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  It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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  (724): It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over. http://tfl.nu/5f4b
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  Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.

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  (724): Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall. http://tfl.nu/yi3c
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  I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.

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  (724): I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show. http://tfl.nu/legh
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  On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

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  (724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9
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  She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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  (724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z
  Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (323)
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  I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams

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  (724): I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams http://tfl.nu/vjrr
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