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Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls

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Dude, they all thought you were gay.

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(412): Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls (724): Dude, they all thought you were gay. http://tfl.nu/k7ip

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who dressed up as a cop at your party???

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idk I have to check. Why?

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he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.

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(724): who dressed up as a cop at your party??? (1-724): idk I have to check. Why? (724): he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM. http://tfl.nu/wn9a

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I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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(724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u

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Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

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Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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(724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln

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Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

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He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

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(724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w

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I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.

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(724): I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked. http://tfl.nu/4abp

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GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~

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(724): GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~ http://tfl.nu/ka83

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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.

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(724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended. http://tfl.nu/olb7

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The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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(724): The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent. http://tfl.nu/afyt

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i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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(724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4

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I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.

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(724): I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast. http://tfl.nu/94l7

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Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now

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(724): Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now http://tfl.nu/jdhz

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On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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(724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1

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Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?

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Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.

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(724): Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"? (214): Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments. http://tfl.nu/ino1

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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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