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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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