Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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  Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.

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  (724): Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though. http://tfl.nu/whvr
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  I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.

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  I think we have a problem.

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  (814): I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom. (724): I think we have a problem. http://tfl.nu/1uid
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  I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.

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  (724): I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober. http://tfl.nu/htfr
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  I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.

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  (724): I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout. http://tfl.nu/bypz
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  I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.

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  (724): I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters. http://tfl.nu/g29w
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  I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides

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  (724): I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides http://tfl.nu/36h7
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  Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD

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  (724): Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD http://tfl.nu/rhmm
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  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

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  (724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482
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  Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.

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  (724): Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is. http://tfl.nu/p6ee
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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  (724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d
  Replies (1) Good night (1050) Bad night (228)
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  so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

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  stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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  (412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y
  Replies (2) Good night (1249) Bad night (253)
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  So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think

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  (724): So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think http://tfl.nu/tp1z
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  At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.

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  (724): At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help. http://tfl.nu/kqwe
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (495)
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  That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.

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  (724): That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake. http://tfl.nu/bbsk
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  Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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  (724): Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in http://tfl.nu/7o0k
  Replies (11) Good night (532) Bad night (1211)