Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Follow @tfln