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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
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