Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (469)

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  (469): View more from Texas

  So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.

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  (469): So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101. http://tfl.nu/16s8
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  Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.

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  (469): Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda. http://tfl.nu/k07e
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  I'm going through a really dark time right now

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  I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up

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  (469): I'm going through a really dark time right now (214): I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up http://tfl.nu/zlw3
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  I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.

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  (469): I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy. http://tfl.nu/2dh7
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  I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.

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  (469): I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years. http://tfl.nu/9l4v
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  I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.

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  (469): I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way. http://tfl.nu/iucx
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  Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.

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  (469): Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg. http://tfl.nu/v8uq
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  So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.

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  (469): So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride. http://tfl.nu/8ytz
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  I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...

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  (469): I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom... http://tfl.nu/pwb7
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  One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism

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  (469): One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism http://tfl.nu/54iy
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  I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.

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  (469): I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep. http://tfl.nu/gn6b
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  I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.

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  (469): I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess. http://tfl.nu/eyc8
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  After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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  (469): After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend. http://tfl.nu/7v59
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  I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5

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  (469): I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5 http://tfl.nu/xzh8
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  HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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  (469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo
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