Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (608)

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  either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.

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  (608): either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide. http://tfl.nu/6k1c
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  I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now

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  (608): I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now http://tfl.nu/jhxl
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  It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"

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  (608): It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy" http://tfl.nu/jtam
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  Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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  (608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr
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  I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave

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  (608): I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave http://tfl.nu/hose
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  What are your plans?

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  Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.

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  (608): What are your plans? (1-608): Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters. http://tfl.nu/04dy
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  You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.

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  (608): You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables. http://tfl.nu/khc5
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  Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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  (608): Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this. http://tfl.nu/002x
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  She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.

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  (608): She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws. http://tfl.nu/2p61
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  In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover

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  (608): In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover http://tfl.nu/mvwr
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  It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone

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  (608): It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone http://tfl.nu/08pc
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  So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea

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  (608): So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea http://tfl.nu/i0d0
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  Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird

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  (608): Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird http://tfl.nu/qw9p
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  Let's get weird.

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  It's 10 am...

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  I'm assuming that means you're not busy...

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  (920): Let's get weird. (608): It's 10 am... (920): I'm assuming that means you're not busy... http://tfl.nu/aihn
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  My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.

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  (608): My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him. http://tfl.nu/n6s2
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