Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (678)

Last Night in Georgia (678)

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(678): View more from Georgia

Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

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I want to change all my life goals to that.

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(678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x

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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.

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(678): Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty. http://tfl.nu/d492

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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

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(678): He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2bus

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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.

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(678): Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are. http://tfl.nu/af34

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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me

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(678): I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me http://tfl.nu/qbi9

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No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

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(678): No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing! http://tfl.nu/2stv

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After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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(678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv

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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.

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(678): For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute. http://tfl.nu/6j0u

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Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?

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(678): Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella? http://tfl.nu/jjvm

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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me

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Does he wear a cape??

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(812): He said he wanted to "superfuck" me (678): Does he wear a cape?? http://tfl.nu/0f5n

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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.

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(678): Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques. http://tfl.nu/wk2i

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You is good. You is important. You is a slut.

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(678): You is good. You is important. You is a slut. http://tfl.nu/0cr6

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You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.

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(678): You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes. http://tfl.nu/g0jp

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Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

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(678): Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on. http://tfl.nu/4vca

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Last Night in Georgia (678)

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