Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (404)

Last Night in Georgia (404)

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(404): View more from Georgia

Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.

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(404): Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/ye3d

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I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.

(910): View more from North Carolina

That's what you say about everyone.

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(404): I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system. (910): That's what you say about everyone. http://tfl.nu/s26k

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I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.

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Clearly, you already have. Both of them.

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(770): I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one. (404): Clearly, you already have. Both of them. http://tfl.nu/iwis

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Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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(404): Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat. http://tfl.nu/fqqq

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(912): View more from Georgia

Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.

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STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!

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(912): Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles. (404): STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!! http://tfl.nu/hvx1

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(404): View more from Georgia

Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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(404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz

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Boobs are out for the taking

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(404): Boobs are out for the taking http://tfl.nu/yo2g

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(770): View more from Georgia

So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?

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So many things can go wrong tonight.

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(770): So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun? (404): So many things can go wrong tonight. http://tfl.nu/anjg

Replies (3) Good night (1052) Bad night (205)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

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(404): Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want. http://tfl.nu/ce96

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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.

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(404): New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold. http://tfl.nu/ite7

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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.

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(404): Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become. http://tfl.nu/pcoq

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I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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(404): I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce http://tfl.nu/fuvv

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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!

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(404): Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!! http://tfl.nu/t5g2

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Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.

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(404): Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now. http://tfl.nu/qdkd

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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!

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(404): It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs! http://tfl.nu/8k9t

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Last Night in Georgia (404)

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