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He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
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