Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Quebec (514)

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  dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it

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  (514): dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it http://tfl.nu/9328
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  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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  (514): i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag. http://tfl.nu/q8nn
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  Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of

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  of drugs

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  (514): Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of (514): of drugs http://tfl.nu/70rd
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  AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing

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  (514): AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing http://tfl.nu/uira
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  He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit

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  (514): He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit http://tfl.nu/ybl7
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  It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary

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  (514): It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary http://tfl.nu/a9h3
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  OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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  (514): OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR! http://tfl.nu/abrr
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  He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.

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  (514): He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac. http://tfl.nu/t8wx
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  It's a drunk scavenger hunt.

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  Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.

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  (514): It's a drunk scavenger hunt. (514): Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked. http://tfl.nu/mf96
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  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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  (514): So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much? http://tfl.nu/8ysl
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  Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.

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  (514): Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night. http://tfl.nu/qzgt
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  I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.

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  (514): I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/63hq
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  please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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  (514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p
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  its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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  (514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl
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  MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'

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  (514): MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.' http://tfl.nu/5zwe
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