Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (646)

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  (646): View more from New York

  We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.

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  (646): We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman. http://tfl.nu/a2vv
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  Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.

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  (646): Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter. http://tfl.nu/74l7
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  I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.

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  (646): I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar. http://tfl.nu/2k0c
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  Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable

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  (646): Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable http://tfl.nu/rcay
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  Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!

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  (646): Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth! http://tfl.nu/4hup
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  I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours

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  This text was so worth waking up to

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  (407): I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours (646): This text was so worth waking up to http://tfl.nu/6rgp
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (175)
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  I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea

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  (646): I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea http://tfl.nu/a1ln
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  Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.

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  (646): Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with. http://tfl.nu/g4xi
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  He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished

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  (646): He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished http://tfl.nu/jql6
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  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

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  (646): I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes... http://tfl.nu/1uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (245) Bad night (1128)
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  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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  (646): I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me! http://tfl.nu/zxm1
  Replies (6) Good night (368) Bad night (365)
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  Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name

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  (646): Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name http://tfl.nu/j3ir
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  Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities

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  (646): Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities http://tfl.nu/7b3i
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  I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.

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  (646): I bet his dick wears a tuxedo. http://tfl.nu/b7e4
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  Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls

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  (646): Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls http://tfl.nu/z0xl
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