Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (925)

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  (925): View more from California

  i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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  (925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f
  Replies (5) Good night (541) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

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  (925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (103) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

  (650): View more from California

  Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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  (925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (167)
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  (925): View more from California

  Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?

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  (925): Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat? http://tfl.nu/9elv
  Replies (6) Good night (464) Bad night (155) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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  (925): A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/wou7
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy

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  (925): I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy http://tfl.nu/28xl
  Replies (14) Good night (1482) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.

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  (925): I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time. http://tfl.nu/6mzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

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  (925): I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER . http://tfl.nu/8mid
  Replies (8) Good night (346) Bad night (287)
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  (925): View more from California

  I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.

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  (925): I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you. http://tfl.nu/spyc
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.

  (1-925): View more from California

  How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?

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  (925): Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night. (1-925): How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure? http://tfl.nu/pvre
  Replies (13) Good night (1125) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.

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  (925): We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act. http://tfl.nu/ttjq
  Replies (3) Good night (1400) Bad night (364)
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  (925): View more from California

  Are sex swings allowed in dorms

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  (925): Are sex swings allowed in dorms http://tfl.nu/achv
  Replies (7) Good night (891) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you

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  (925): Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you http://tfl.nu/oly8
  Replies (11) Good night (767) Bad night (1425)
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  (925): View more from California

  After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...

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  (925): After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough... http://tfl.nu/vkxi
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (154) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.

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  (925): I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist. (480): I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test. http://tfl.nu/pge5
  Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (294)