Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (704)

Last Night in North Carolina (704)

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(704): View more from North Carolina

she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"

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(704): she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out" http://tfl.nu/fktd

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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Colt 45 out of anything is classy.

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(704): I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy. (919): Colt 45 out of anything is classy. http://tfl.nu/9zxf

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I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

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oh, you finally did the dishes then?

(980): View more from North Carolina

No, bought new ones.

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(980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up

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Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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(704): Her vagina smelled like bad decisions http://tfl.nu/m5j1

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giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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(704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op

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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

(954): View more from Florida

Why wouldn't there be.

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(704): Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower? (954): Why wouldn't there be. http://tfl.nu/wwnv

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I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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(704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1

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i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating

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(704): i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating http://tfl.nu/bh4g

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Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.

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(704): Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes. http://tfl.nu/5rb1

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First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.

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(704): First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka. http://tfl.nu/gxhu

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my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'

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(704): my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!' http://tfl.nu/sd3c

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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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(704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie... http://tfl.nu/pw66

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I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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(704): I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food. http://tfl.nu/cwmk

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I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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(704): I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better. http://tfl.nu/5ydt

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you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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(704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!" http://tfl.nu/9nr0

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Last Night in North Carolina (704)

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