Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alabama (256)

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.

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  (256): So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar. http://tfl.nu/pwn2
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  I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.

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  (256): I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany. http://tfl.nu/68i2
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  He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for

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  (256): He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for http://tfl.nu/28ug
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  my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..

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  (256): my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". .. http://tfl.nu/y01m
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  No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.

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  (256): No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you. http://tfl.nu/nxd6
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (109)
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  Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.

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  (256): Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide. http://tfl.nu/ci5k
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  Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

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  (256): Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention. http://tfl.nu/44p2
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  In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.

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  Yeah, that's a plus.

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  (256): In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet. (1-256): Yeah, that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/i1dz
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  Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.

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  (256): Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101. http://tfl.nu/zhx3
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  It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

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  (256): It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!' http://tfl.nu/6btj
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  I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.

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  It's like 10 times better than an Oscar

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  (256): I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award. (256): It's like 10 times better than an Oscar http://tfl.nu/pcc6
  Replies (7) Good night (502) Bad night (186)
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  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
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  He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.

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  (256): He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree. http://tfl.nu/17st
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  I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!

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  (256): I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight! http://tfl.nu/qi7p
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  It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.

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  (256): It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with. http://tfl.nu/jivo
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