Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (407)

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.

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  (407): I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is. http://tfl.nu/ixfo
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  He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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  (407): He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas http://tfl.nu/zvf4
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  If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces

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  (407): If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces http://tfl.nu/di36
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  I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.

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  (407): I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again. http://tfl.nu/tkx0
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  I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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  (407): I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes http://tfl.nu/re4k
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  OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING

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  (407): OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING http://tfl.nu/avf7
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  i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka

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  (407): i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka http://tfl.nu/95pf
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  Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...

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  (407): Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school... http://tfl.nu/m7rc
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  You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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  (407): You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways" http://tfl.nu/gs8x
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  If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.

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  (407): If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/rq3w
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  I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far

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  (407): I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far http://tfl.nu/ylx6
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  I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours

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  This text was so worth waking up to

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  (407): I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours (646): This text was so worth waking up to http://tfl.nu/6rgp
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (172)
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  I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.

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  (407): I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter. http://tfl.nu/mj4q
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  we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home

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  (407): we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home http://tfl.nu/hueq
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  I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.

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  (407): I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history. http://tfl.nu/a6pc
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