Last Night in Florida (407)

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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• (407): View more from Florida

  this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse

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• (850): View more from Florida

  TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem

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• (407): View more from Florida

  And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?

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