Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (940)

Last Night in Texas (940)

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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.

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(940): I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/gvul

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I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused

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(940): I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused http://tfl.nu/s5e1

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Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.

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(940): Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them. http://tfl.nu/2war

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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..

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(940): Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku.. http://tfl.nu/zv8o

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Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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(940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za

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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast

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(940): I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast http://tfl.nu/e3ki

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Sorry about the flaming shit on your door

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I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text

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(940): Sorry about the flaming shit on your door (940): I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text http://tfl.nu/x4xg

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No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.

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(940): No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird. http://tfl.nu/3ffu

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Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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(940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig

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Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.

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(940): Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits. http://tfl.nu/jw0d

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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

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It's 2 pm....

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(940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth

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Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.

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(940): Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying. http://tfl.nu/q8jl

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I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.

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(940): I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight. http://tfl.nu/7wi4

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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.

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(940): BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0fj8

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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.

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(940): P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message. http://tfl.nu/r5mr

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Last Night in Texas (940)

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