Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (916)

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  Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless

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  Sacramento doesn't deserve you

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  (916): Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless (209): Sacramento doesn't deserve you http://tfl.nu/wsxj
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  We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.

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  (916): We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out. http://tfl.nu/zjk4
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  Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.

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  (916): Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now. http://tfl.nu/po20
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  There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going

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  (916): There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going http://tfl.nu/cnx7
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  Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up

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  (916): Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up http://tfl.nu/2pg5
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  Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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  (916): Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened. http://tfl.nu/94yj
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  Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner

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  (916): Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner http://tfl.nu/9gah
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  She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!

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  (916): She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come! http://tfl.nu/rtar
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  Are you setting a date to bone me?

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  Are you accepting?

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  (916): Are you setting a date to bone me? (530): Are you accepting? http://tfl.nu/jd32
  Replies (5) Good night (1169) Bad night (177)
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  There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE

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  (916): There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE http://tfl.nu/puex
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  Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?

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  (916): Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right? http://tfl.nu/1so7
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt
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  Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?

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  (916): Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick? http://tfl.nu/xs5h
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  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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  (916): BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you http://tfl.nu/atej
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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  (916): I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed... http://tfl.nu/imcz
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  Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.

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  (916): Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though. http://tfl.nu/db3p
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