Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (732)

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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  (732): I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome. http://tfl.nu/zzpw
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap

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  (732): I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap http://tfl.nu/e6wb
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  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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  (732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5
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  you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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  (732): you tipped EVERY employee at white castle http://tfl.nu/d5zv
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  the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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  (732): the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine. http://tfl.nu/ewch
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  It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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  (732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh
  Replies (11) Good night (495) Bad night (3464) Order T-Shirt
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  I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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  (732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i
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  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

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  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
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  i dont know what to do

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  with your life?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3

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  (732): i dont know what to do (1-732): with your life? (732): no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3 http://tfl.nu/i8yp
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  I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.

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  (732): I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered. http://tfl.nu/02c6
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  I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.

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  (732): I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it. http://tfl.nu/c1o6
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  she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love

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  (732): she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love http://tfl.nu/knwu
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  i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends

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  (732): i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends http://tfl.nu/aaz6
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  the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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  (732): the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea http://tfl.nu/kd80
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  hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

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  (732): hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again http://tfl.nu/ne0q
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