everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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