Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (786)

Last Night in Florida (786)

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Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

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Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

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I insist.

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(786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf

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tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.

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(786): tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected. http://tfl.nu/x54o

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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.

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(786): I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming. http://tfl.nu/qge1

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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...

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(786): the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words... http://tfl.nu/e7uv

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What vodka is american?

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Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.

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(786): What vodka is american? (1-786): Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july. http://tfl.nu/p6uy

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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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(786): If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok http://tfl.nu/pfjn

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you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

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(786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x

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It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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(786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn

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hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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(786): hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth! http://tfl.nu/9piv

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you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you

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(786): you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you http://tfl.nu/pl4e

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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.

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(786): HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM. http://tfl.nu/yhvq

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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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(786): i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/v0t3

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You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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(786): You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager. http://tfl.nu/4g1t

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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

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(786): If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up http://tfl.nu/h8cl

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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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(786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm

Replies (3) Good night (3054) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Florida (786)

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