Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (267)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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Still dying that you shit outside

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(267): Still dying that you shit outside http://tfl.nu/a3uv

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In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.

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(267): In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY. http://tfl.nu/1mja

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What did he say?

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NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!

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(215): What did he say? (267): NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS! http://tfl.nu/60l0

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he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment

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HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF

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(267): he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment (267): HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF http://tfl.nu/xvhl

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I have tan lines from my nipple rings.

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(267): I have tan lines from my nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/n8t0

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I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week

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(267): I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week http://tfl.nu/wcg4

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Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

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(267): Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one. http://tfl.nu/nwfi

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My vag is like the Sahara

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Ew that's gross.

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The sad truth. Barren and empty.

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(267): My vag is like the Sahara (215): Ew that's gross. (267): The sad truth. Barren and empty. http://tfl.nu/3klg

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Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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(267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso

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only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

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(267): only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding http://tfl.nu/47vz

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At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila

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(267): At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila http://tfl.nu/iq3c

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he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli

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He used a "food city great value" card to cut it

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(267): he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli (267): He used a "food city great value" card to cut it http://tfl.nu/fxwe

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Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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(267): Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am? http://tfl.nu/20h1

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I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college

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Aren't you gay?

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IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME

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(215): I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college (267): Aren't you gay? (215): IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME http://tfl.nu/3fr7

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Steaks?

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It's Ash Wednesday.

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If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?

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(267): Steaks? (215): It's Ash Wednesday. (267): If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made? http://tfl.nu/8kzi

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (267)

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