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Last Night in Illinois (618)

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One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.

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Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!

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(618): One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat. (1-618): Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research! http://tfl.nu/3g8w

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If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.

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(618): If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies. http://tfl.nu/67ah

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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....

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(618): My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why.... http://tfl.nu/ypyl

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Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award

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(618): Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award http://tfl.nu/x66g

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There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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(618): There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister. http://tfl.nu/tdo0

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Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

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(618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1

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I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.

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(618): I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great. http://tfl.nu/nq71

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I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.

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(618): I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion. http://tfl.nu/gnl9

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If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

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(618): If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life http://tfl.nu/dpod

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I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!

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(618): I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!! http://tfl.nu/uufd

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I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.

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(618): I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic. http://tfl.nu/2s9s

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You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities

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(618): You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities http://tfl.nu/jkst

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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.

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(618): You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there. http://tfl.nu/4ob2

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Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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(618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss

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Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!

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(618): Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT! http://tfl.nu/daki

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Last Night in Illinois (618)

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