Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Follow TFLN on Twitter
Favorite
