Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (347)

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  (347): View more from New York

  Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.

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  (347): Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account. http://tfl.nu/m8a3
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  last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake

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  (347): last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake http://tfl.nu/pvxf
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  I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

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  I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

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  (347): I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN (347): I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/s3su
  Replies (35) Good night (8093) Bad night (1415)
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  You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

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  (347): You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid? http://tfl.nu/2je7
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  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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  (347): we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this http://tfl.nu/0jv4
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  Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono

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  (347): Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono http://tfl.nu/a0gb
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  alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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  (347): alright she left, finally time to fart up the room http://tfl.nu/utm3
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  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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  (347): k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza http://tfl.nu/rg2w
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  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

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  go home

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  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (24) Good night (5372) Bad night (424)
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  I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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  (347): I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/amxy
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  Leave Me Alone

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  At least least me cry on your voice mail

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  (347): Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail http://tfl.nu/2wcv
  Replies (14) Good night (197) Bad night (3534)
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  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

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  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
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  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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  (347): the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant http://tfl.nu/765y
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  Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude

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  So your saying just a blow job?

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  (347): Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude (650): So your saying just a blow job? http://tfl.nu/cev0
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  i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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  (347): i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning http://tfl.nu/jabd
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