Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (434)

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then apparently I went "not bad" and continued

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  (434): I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night (434): then apparently I went "not bad" and continued http://tfl.nu/4s21
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night

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  (434): Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night http://tfl.nu/pi3r
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  I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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  (434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...

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  (434): i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet... http://tfl.nu/ym2b
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles

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  (434): After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles http://tfl.nu/5yst
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  (434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

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  (434): I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories. http://tfl.nu/op72
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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  (434): It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually. http://tfl.nu/a0fb
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

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  (434): mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team http://tfl.nu/khyn
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.

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  (434): Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it. http://tfl.nu/a357
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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  (434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.

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  (434): Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority. http://tfl.nu/mqpz
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.

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  (434): In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult. http://tfl.nu/0of3
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all

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  (434): It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all http://tfl.nu/veuh
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So, were they human bite marks at least?

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Your guess is as good as mine.

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  (617): So, were they human bite marks at least? (434): Your guess is as good as mine. http://tfl.nu/gi39
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