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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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