Check out other texts from: Sacramento, CA

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  • Submitted by Stucco on May 19, 11 at 4:16pm

    "Daniel, for the last time, please stop drunk texting me, I am your Mom, Love You!"

    • 46 71
      Submitted by fosterom13 on May 20, 11 at 9:05am

      don't stop man keep doing it

  • Submitted by 3knucklesdeep on May 19, 11 at 5:48pm

    The orgasms are guaranteed, but for whom?

    • 52 68
      Submitted by CIT on May 19, 11 at 5:50pm

      Ahhh, excellent point...

  • Submitted by jennai91 on May 20, 11 at 1:25am

    mass text

  • Submitted by Phys on May 19, 11 at 5:36pm

    Next day: "Well two out of three isn't that bad right?"

    • 44 80
      Submitted by JimThornton on May 20, 11 at 11:07am

      *** 30 Seconds Later *** : Well two out of three isn't bad right?

  • Submitted by bunny420 on May 19, 11 at 5:42pm

    Deal. The ride home in the morning sold me. When?

  • Submitted by haliganbar on May 19, 11 at 7:47pm

    Ride home = no walk of shame. Go for it.

  • Submitted by jasboo on May 19, 11 at 7:57pm

    and this is how Arnold Schwarzenegger got caught....

  • 86 59
    Submitted by badgebunnyhuny on May 19, 11 at 6:36pm

    Consider this my RSVP lol

  • 99 87
    Submitted by hermionegranger on May 19, 11 at 5:55pm

    so...whats your number? ;)

    • 39 49
      Submitted by Vulpus on May 19, 11 at 7:42pm

      Can't you just *accio* that shit?

      • 60 46
        Submitted by randomchic on May 19, 11 at 8:00pm

        bahaha that made my day

      • 48 49
        Submitted by exosus on Aug 30, 11 at 12:45am

        Harry Potter fans shouldn't be allowed in public, even on the internet.

  • 74 63
    Submitted by muireann04 on May 20, 11 at 3:32pm

    Who on earth gave this a bad night??!

  • 79 73
    Submitted by GLryan24 on May 19, 11 at 4:57pm

    Me = jealous.

  • 77 70
    Submitted by BigCrank on May 19, 11 at 9:01pm

    You had me at orgasm.

  • Submitted by OhhhLori on May 19, 11 at 9:06pm

    The funny thing is I got a text like this last weekend and the only promise that was kept was the ride home the next day haha

  • 58 51
    Submitted by Andr913 on May 20, 11 at 7:09am

    Why are you on tfln? Get your ass over there!

  • 47 38
    Submitted by a2d2596 on Jun 5, 11 at 1:17am

    I will be there at 11

  • 64 72
    Submitted by rockintimes on May 19, 11 at 5:53pm

    Yeah 805, way to stay classy!! No wonder we are the happiest place in the nation...

  • 62 73
    Submitted by moso10 on May 19, 11 at 4:58pm

    dealll

  • 66 84
    Submitted by MelF on May 19, 11 at 5:19pm

    I'm in!

  • 52 61
    Submitted by sexynessisme on May 19, 11 at 10:46pm

    Sounds like a good night...

  • 46 50
    Submitted by redstar on May 23, 11 at 12:36pm

    Sounds like a good deal!

  • 52 63
    Submitted by frontrowgirl on May 20, 11 at 1:14am

    yeah....who could resist that

  • 61 83
    Submitted by rex1613 on May 19, 11 at 10:19pm

    guess you responded to the wrong texter

  • 49 59
    Submitted by MsNissa on May 19, 11 at 6:58pm

    Me, me!!!

  • 51 66
    Submitted by rotflmfao on May 19, 11 at 6:55pm

    Yes!

  • 46 57
    Submitted by lettinggo33 on May 25, 11 at 7:25pm

    wow... that's quite the offer!

  • 48 61
    Submitted by cfreymarc on May 20, 11 at 2:56am

    And a money back guarantee too!

  • 40 52
    Submitted by badmitch on May 25, 11 at 6:47pm

    BadMitch never takes em home, www.badmitch.com

  • Submitted by cireretals on May 19, 11 at 10:07pm

    @phys make the bitch walk gas isn't cheap

  • 43 59
    Submitted by msu_chelsie06 on May 22, 11 at 2:49pm

    Sounds like he's a fat desperate loser.

  • 42 64
    Submitted by MF_Dancer on Jun 2, 11 at 4:33pm

    Man I wish someone would offer me that! hahahahahaha :P

  • 44 68
    Submitted by sydzz18 on May 19, 11 at 11:31pm

    That's a great deal!

  • 48 77
    Submitted by ctown61 on May 19, 11 at 10:22pm

    Alright I'm on my way lol

  • 25 36
    Submitted by hellcat13 on May 22, 12 at 2:32am

    Who are you and where in the 805 are you???

  • 37 68
    Submitted by sbqt805 on May 24, 11 at 1:08am

    Oh my god oh my god this is my area code I'm game Hit a chika up!! Hehe kidding. Maybe...

  • Submitted by Michguy on May 19, 11 at 7:41pm

    And you'll get herpes in return. Fair?

  • 44 89
    Submitted by lindsay6689 on May 20, 11 at 2:40am

    Can I get a what what!!

  • Submitted by agroupofninjas on May 19, 11 at 11:19pm

    this comment isnt funny, ive heard the exact same thing on this website like 5 times

    • 37 73
      Submitted by Stucco on May 20, 11 at 1:14am

      yep you are right your comment wasnt funny

  • Submitted by flrstfirst on May 19, 11 at 8:37pm

    First