Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (708)

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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  (708): You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice. http://tfl.nu/p63x
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  Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?

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  (708): Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love? http://tfl.nu/bkra
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  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

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  And it tastes incredible.

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  And I have chest pains.

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  (708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m
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  I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.

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  (708): I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun. http://tfl.nu/pax3
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  it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus

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  (708): it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus http://tfl.nu/ryiv
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (172)
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  Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.

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  (708): Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves. http://tfl.nu/d1rk
  Replies (3) Good night (158) Bad night (451)
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  Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.

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  (708): Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later. http://tfl.nu/hn0j
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  Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.

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  (708): Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway. http://tfl.nu/5xxq
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  Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.

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  (708): Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/aft6
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  I think I died last night.

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  Yeah, you got carried home

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  (708): I think I died last night. (414): Yeah, you got carried home http://tfl.nu/8211
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (142)
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  i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard

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  (708): i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard http://tfl.nu/5qs2
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  I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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  (708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89
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  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
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  Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.

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  (708): Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight. http://tfl.nu/8q6s
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (415)
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  He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck

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  (708): He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck http://tfl.nu/28kh
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