Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Kentucky (270)

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.

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  (270): It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What. http://tfl.nu/ocdr
  Replies (4) Good night (1734) Bad night (151)
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  Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

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  (270): Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer. http://tfl.nu/rbji
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (145)
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  Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev

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  (270): Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev http://tfl.nu/bqo9
  Replies (3) Good night (316) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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  He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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  (270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq
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  I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

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  (270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once. http://tfl.nu/lr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (553) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.

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  (270): Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man. http://tfl.nu/achk
  Replies (9) Good night (1916) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt
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  Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls

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  (270): Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls http://tfl.nu/fmy4
  Replies (3) Good night (343) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
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  What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...

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  (270): What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me... http://tfl.nu/bzfn
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me

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  (270): I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me http://tfl.nu/n5ey
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey I found a cat!

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  (270): Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do. (1-270): Hey I found a cat! http://tfl.nu/yvuv
  Replies (7) Good night (1506) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
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  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (244)
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  Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.

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  (270): Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. http://tfl.nu/l82s
  Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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  (270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80
  Replies (4) Good night (288) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...

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  (270): I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night... http://tfl.nu/q37f
  Replies (6) Good night (364) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.

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  (270): Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad. http://tfl.nu/hoxr
  Replies (4) Good night (366) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt