Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (216)

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.

(216): View more from Ohio

Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.

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(914): I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer. (216): Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro. http://tfl.nu/w82v

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(216): View more from Ohio

After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory

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(216): After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory http://tfl.nu/ao8l

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(216): View more from Ohio

We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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(216): We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret. http://tfl.nu/ko6r

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(216): View more from Ohio

I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.

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(216): I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches. http://tfl.nu/a2wa

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(330): View more from Ohio

MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

(216): View more from Ohio

I'll be there in 20 with vodka.

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(330): MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. (216): I'll be there in 20 with vodka. http://tfl.nu/ar06

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(216): View more from Ohio

Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.

(440): View more from Ohio

Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.

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(216): Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know. (440): Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl. http://tfl.nu/hazv

Replies (2) Good night (1883) Bad night (179)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.

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(216): I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote. http://tfl.nu/863q

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(216): View more from Ohio

just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.

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(216): just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin. http://tfl.nu/vhdg

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(216): View more from Ohio

My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.

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(216): My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me. http://tfl.nu/b8jl

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.

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(216): Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me. http://tfl.nu/fau7

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(216): View more from Ohio

blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester

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(216): blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester http://tfl.nu/2842

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(216): View more from Ohio

Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight

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(216): Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight http://tfl.nu/4usg

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(216): View more from Ohio

So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?

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(216): So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent? http://tfl.nu/r4d5

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(216): View more from Ohio

Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.

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(216): Question: trumpet bong. Can it work. http://tfl.nu/hpw0

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(216): View more from Ohio

I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating

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(216): I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating http://tfl.nu/1tih

Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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