Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (440)

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  You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

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  (440): You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand. http://tfl.nu/z0q1
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  Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.

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  (440): Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature. http://tfl.nu/1n60
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  No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch

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  (440): No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch http://tfl.nu/as9g
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  Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...

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  (440): Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far... http://tfl.nu/vk0b
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (86) Order T-Shirt
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  Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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  (440): Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/175a
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt
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  literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.

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  (440): literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck. http://tfl.nu/514p
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (235)
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  The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore

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  (440): The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore http://tfl.nu/1tsb
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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  I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.

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  (440): I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape. http://tfl.nu/tyij
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (132)
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  Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.

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  Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.

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  (216): Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know. (440): Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl. http://tfl.nu/hazv
  Replies (2) Good night (1883) Bad night (180)
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  The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...

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  (440): The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine... http://tfl.nu/over
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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  I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.

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  (440): I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land. http://tfl.nu/ihv8
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  That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast

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  (440): That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast http://tfl.nu/nk0g
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  you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.

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  (440): you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied. http://tfl.nu/16n4
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!

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  (440): Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack! http://tfl.nu/22h4
  Replies (17) Good night (3466) Bad night (281)
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  I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

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  (440): I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?! http://tfl.nu/61is
  Replies (4) Good night (459) Bad night (148) Order T-Shirt