Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (720)

Last Night in Colorado (720)

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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?

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Great they tried to bail me out.

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(720): How did work go after you told them you were in jail? (402): Great they tried to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/vh27

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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.

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(720): His dick is so big it could be an arm rest. http://tfl.nu/aqho

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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

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(720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6

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A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.

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(720): A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively. http://tfl.nu/qap5

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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

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(720): I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped. http://tfl.nu/6z5g

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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.

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(720): He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened. http://tfl.nu/qbkq

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Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.

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(720): Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate. http://tfl.nu/0wwt

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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue

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(720): I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue http://tfl.nu/01f7

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She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable

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thermos full of jaeger bombs?

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Affirmative

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(720): She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable (303): thermos full of jaeger bombs? (720): Affirmative http://tfl.nu/e05o

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This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.

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(720): This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you. http://tfl.nu/ixe4

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Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

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This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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(720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3

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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.

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(720): I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/epbn

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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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(720): He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ.... http://tfl.nu/i5f3

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After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one

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(720): After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one http://tfl.nu/ewhm

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This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow

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(720): This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow http://tfl.nu/n4ws

Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (218)

Last Night in Colorado (720)

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