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  • Submitted by NotAnonymous321 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:19pm

    Should have tried again 10 minutes later.

  • Submitted by CapN_Winky on Mar 8, 11 at 5:44pm

    if this is how I got woke up every morning, I would throw out my alarm clock.

  • Submitted by hacker201 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:56pm

    I'm trying to figure out who the bigger loser is here?

    • 81 85
      Submitted by RyanM on Mar 8, 11 at 6:36pm

      ...It's the guy.

      • 96 87
        Submitted by jerm69anl on Mar 8, 11 at 10:03pm

        technically they could both be guys

        • Submitted by iDreamOfWeenie on Mar 9, 11 at 1:11am

          yeah but that would just be gross..

          • Submitted by dat_azz_69 on Mar 9, 11 at 10:55am

            yay for intolerance!

            • Submitted by 08GSXR600 on Mar 12, 11 at 1:47am

              I don't think intolerance as much as preference

              • 81 98
                Submitted by pennydoll on Apr 12, 11 at 3:21pm

                Any guy who picks sleep over blowies? LOSER!\nAny girl (or guy) who's nice enough to wake a guy up with a blowie? AWESOME!

  • Submitted by Suomen_tytto on Mar 8, 11 at 3:07pm

    Someone needs to practice their bj skills a little bit

  • Submitted by dumsumbitch on Mar 8, 11 at 5:39pm

    Who turns down a blow job? Seriously!

  • Submitted by MartianVirus on Mar 8, 11 at 11:58pm

    Proof that guys aren't constantly horny.. No wait that can't be it. Too much teeth?

  • Submitted by valekseye on Mar 8, 11 at 5:12pm

    This "Soviet Russia" crap got old a long time ago

  • Submitted by manlaw6 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:16pm

    This is obviously fake, women don't listen to men!

  • Submitted by ambur on Mar 8, 11 at 3:49pm

    Lol that is awesome.

  • Submitted by cfreymarc on Mar 8, 11 at 9:49pm

    Nice test. If you walked away and he chased you, he was your bitch. If you blew him ten minutes later, you are his bitch. I bet the latter happened.

  • Submitted by digthis1 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:51pm

    must be the poster child for "I suck at life"

  • Submitted by iHaveNoLife on Mar 9, 11 at 10:43am

    Lol awesome.

  • Submitted by ImKeithStone on Mar 8, 11 at 7:34pm

    OP is a guy.

  • Submitted by bisssnich26 on Mar 10, 11 at 9:29pm

    U need to work on ur noise control if u sounded like an alarm clock

  • Submitted by p5ychic on Mar 9, 11 at 2:56am

    He just wanted you to be more quiet when u blow, less slurping more sucking?

  • Submitted by mynamedoesntfit on Mar 8, 11 at 6:13pm

    Why are people starting to use literally again? It wasnt irritating enough in the first wave of texts that used it unnecessarily?

    • Submitted by BobLoblaw138 on Mar 8, 11 at 6:42pm

      It's not just in texts, people actually say it in this context too. Idiotic. How else could he have said/done it other than literally...

      • 84 96
        Submitted by RuralNinja on Mar 8, 11 at 7:52pm

        Literally should only be used in an unbelievable situation, to differentiate it from common verbal exaggerations, such as "I just pulled out of the dealership and someone rear ended me literally 2 minutes later." It should not be used in an obvious situation, such as "I got kicked in the balls and I literally hunched over from the pain."

  • Submitted by manlawgirlfriend on Mar 8, 11 at 4:10pm

    I had sex with manlaw

  • Submitted by just_s4yin on Mar 8, 11 at 3:30pm

    Too funny! I agree, your skills might be lacking...

  • 94 85
    Submitted by zoidberg on Mar 9, 11 at 2:06pm

    get better at giving head?

  • 97 96
    Submitted by aimhigher on Mar 14, 11 at 7:48pm

    I would never do that to my morning wood ...

  • Submitted by iHaveNoLife on Mar 9, 11 at 10:44am

    Waking up is the worst.

  • 92 98
    Submitted by babycakes0862 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:26pm


  • Submitted by noooono on Mar 8, 11 at 7:23pm

    Co za asy!

  • Submitted by me_in_ur_bed on Mar 10, 11 at 7:38pm

    Hey "cindy", did u regret it? Or is he different in real life?

  • Submitted by nutsucker on Mar 12, 11 at 7:12am

    This ones actually funny!!!!

  • Submitted by Plol1994 on Mar 8, 11 at 10:27pm

    wow..thats just sad.

  • Submitted by iletgoalsin69 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:44pm

    They dnt know what bjs are in russia

  • Submitted by thatguy1020 on Mar 9, 11 at 2:11am


  • Submitted by bee222 on Mar 21, 11 at 1:37am

    He's an idiot

  • Submitted by theJoker45 on Mar 29, 11 at 12:59pm

    He's a mean fuck...

  • 62 65
    Submitted by girly071410 on Sep 22, 11 at 6:23pm

    My babe loves getting woken up like that.. I don't get the "snooze button" ;)

  • Submitted by nutsucker on Mar 10, 11 at 3:43pm

    Toooo funny!!!!!!

  • Submitted by lmfaovids on Mar 9, 11 at 1:18pm

    Check out some funny videos @

  • Submitted by djmerrill21 on Mar 9, 11 at 11:50am


  • Submitted by djmerrill21 on Mar 9, 11 at 11:52am


  • Submitted by suck_on_my_ on Mar 8, 11 at 11:20pm

    Let's see...... you made up a text to post on TFLN and it wasn't a very good one. Awww.

  • Submitted by rickjames225 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:13pm

    In Soviet Russia that is how a faithful wife wakes up her husband!

  • 33 52
    Submitted by Erinn_Clark on Oct 23, 12 at 7:52pm

    Next time he wanted sex itd be "Snooze button"

  • Submitted by hoodrat225 on Mar 8, 11 at 4:18pm

    In da hood if our bytch dnt give us head we bytch slap em

  • Submitted by Assman_Humpeth on Mar 8, 11 at 3:32pm

    No anal = sexual you can see