Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (931)

Last Night in Tennessee (931)

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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

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And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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(615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld

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I want to go out and have good clean fun.

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Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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(931): I want to go out and have good clean fun. (931): Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/qwbd

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I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment

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(931): I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment http://tfl.nu/k0uz

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I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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(931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8

Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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Lets trade lives

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And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears

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(931): Lets trade lives (931): And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears http://tfl.nu/3fv6

Replies (3) Good night (245) Bad night (339)
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Playing nyquil pong with a cat again

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(931): Playing nyquil pong with a cat again http://tfl.nu/9ic0

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I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand

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(931): I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand http://tfl.nu/pke8

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I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma

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(931): I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma http://tfl.nu/5uqx

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Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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(931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0

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Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes

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(931): Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes http://tfl.nu/7hsu

Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (195)
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He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob

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Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic

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(931): He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob (1-931): Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic http://tfl.nu/rfmh

Replies (4) Good night (1336) Bad night (227)
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He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

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(931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj

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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT

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(931): ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT http://tfl.nu/g173

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You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet

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(931): You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet http://tfl.nu/z0gl

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My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

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(931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh

Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Tennessee (931)

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