Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (313)

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  Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?

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  (313): Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise? http://tfl.nu/m7ic
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  We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

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  (313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn
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  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

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  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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  (313): We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up. (313): Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals. http://tfl.nu/39hn
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  Why are you there anyways?

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  Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist

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  (313): Why are you there anyways? (248): Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist http://tfl.nu/9tvc
  Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (216)
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  420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.

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  (313): 420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/907d
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  Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity

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  (313): Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity http://tfl.nu/jv85
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  I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.

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  (313): I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it. http://tfl.nu/dmoy
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  From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.

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  (313): From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours. http://tfl.nu/36vr
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.

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  (313): I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing. http://tfl.nu/76v7
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  Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into

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  (313): Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into http://tfl.nu/0v44
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  Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.

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  (313): Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye. http://tfl.nu/jiz3
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  She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......

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  (313): She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut....... http://tfl.nu/dh75
  Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (766)
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  You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink

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  (313): You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink http://tfl.nu/6677
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  Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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  (313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk
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  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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  (313): I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs http://tfl.nu/01r5
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (987)