Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Nevada (775)

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex

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  (775): She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/ps9c
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  I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.

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  (775): I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation. http://tfl.nu/xcew
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  You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.

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  (775): You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood. http://tfl.nu/925d
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  Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?

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  (775): Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck? http://tfl.nu/o867
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  This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story

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  (775): This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story http://tfl.nu/e7wa
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (312)
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  My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.

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  (775): My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock. http://tfl.nu/3cuy
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  Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.

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  (775): Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/8a5u
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  He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits

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  (775): He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits http://tfl.nu/c5ul
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  He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time

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  (775): He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time http://tfl.nu/8uxf
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  Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back

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  (775): Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back http://tfl.nu/jyyl
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  He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese

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  (775): He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese http://tfl.nu/ug4c
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  I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do

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  So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.

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  (775): I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do (1-775): So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch. http://tfl.nu/xajs
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  When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

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  (775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq
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  Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die

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  (775): Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die http://tfl.nu/wat0
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  I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that

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  (775): I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that http://tfl.nu/rttq
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