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Last Night in South Dakota (605)

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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?

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(605): Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night? http://tfl.nu/gtih

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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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(605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd

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I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.

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(605): I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk. http://tfl.nu/q1g3

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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.

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Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.

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(402): Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans. (605): Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon. http://tfl.nu/v291

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You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister

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(605): You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister http://tfl.nu/xlrp

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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

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(605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah

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The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.

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(605): The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet. http://tfl.nu/kmib

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I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.

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(605): I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment. http://tfl.nu/w9a2

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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....

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(605): But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday.... http://tfl.nu/rigs

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If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.

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(605): If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van. http://tfl.nu/2zw8

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I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.

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(605): I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become. http://tfl.nu/axq7

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I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.

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(605): I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with. http://tfl.nu/3qb7

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Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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(605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam

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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.

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(605): Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast. http://tfl.nu/w2q8

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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.

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(605): I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way. http://tfl.nu/xvcq

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Last Night in South Dakota (605)

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