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My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We have so much sex to catch up on
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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