Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (778)

Last Night in British Columbia (778)

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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.

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(778): I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/uqop

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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.

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(778): All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed. http://tfl.nu/ap4f

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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits

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(778): can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits http://tfl.nu/njr0

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Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.

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(778): Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. http://tfl.nu/s2ri

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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"

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(778): we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon" http://tfl.nu/dp34

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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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(778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26

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4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee

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How festive

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(778): 4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee (604): How festive http://tfl.nu/8kx6

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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

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SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

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(778): I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on (778): SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW http://tfl.nu/dpzm

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First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work

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(778): First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work http://tfl.nu/03ii

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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.

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(778): New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people. http://tfl.nu/h4j7

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Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers

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(778): Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers http://tfl.nu/9sqe

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Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

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(778): Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here. http://tfl.nu/7as8

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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

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(778): Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town. http://tfl.nu/ynab

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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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(778): On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check? http://tfl.nu/1mv7

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He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool

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(778): He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool http://tfl.nu/x8lz

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Last Night in British Columbia (778)

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