Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (610)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

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I'm so glad i pay social security

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(610): Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year? (1-610): I'm so glad i pay social security http://tfl.nu/rnv1

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it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx

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I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families

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That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.

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(610): I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families (570): That statement alone makes me laugh so hard. http://tfl.nu/jdb3

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she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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(610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx

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I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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(610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz

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Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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(610): Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am http://tfl.nu/p6fg

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i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

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(610): i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them http://tfl.nu/hras

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Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.

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was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?

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(717): Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag. (610): was it embarrassing when you had to say yes? http://tfl.nu/rz29

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Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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(610): Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it. http://tfl.nu/l5ke

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We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

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(610): We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420 http://tfl.nu/8lzk

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my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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(610): my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park http://tfl.nu/hm3c

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You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.

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(610): You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok. http://tfl.nu/svs8

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you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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(610): you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask http://tfl.nu/pl36

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I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.

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(610): I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate. http://tfl.nu/wg9p

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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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(610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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