Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.

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  (610): I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home. http://tfl.nu/onnq
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  We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots

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  (610): We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots http://tfl.nu/1mi3
  Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (331)
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  I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.

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  (610): I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them. http://tfl.nu/t18i
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  we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.

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  (610): we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty. http://tfl.nu/7ebu
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  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

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  (610): I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real. http://tfl.nu/qhs0
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  Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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  (610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac
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  THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER

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  I'm officially in the Christmas spirit

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  (610): THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER (1-610): I'm officially in the Christmas spirit http://tfl.nu/grxs
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  You may now shotgun with the bride

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  (610): You may now shotgun with the bride http://tfl.nu/3bw7
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  you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

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  our poor poor cab driver

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  (267): you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight" (610): our poor poor cab driver http://tfl.nu/cgof
  Replies (7) Good night (1034) Bad night (389)
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  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
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  Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups

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  (610): Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups http://tfl.nu/eisr
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  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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  (610): Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls. http://tfl.nu/zc4i
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  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

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  possibly by boat

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  (610): he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him (610): possibly by boat http://tfl.nu/q00b
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (327)
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  you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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  (610): you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop http://tfl.nu/ld3s
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  I drink to make the karaoke go away.

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  (610): I drink to make the karaoke go away. http://tfl.nu/0jio
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