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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 3:50pm

    Santa doesn't put up with slackers....

  • 98 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:06am

    9:37 ... no egg nog is elf cum ... didnt u know????

  • 97 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 11:18am

    horrible. i laughed, though. you bastard.

  • 94 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:38pm

    haha this one was hilarious!

  • 83 69
    Submitted by gingy36 on Nov 19, 10 at 11:13pm

    you are truly epic

  • 95 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:10pm

    Teacher? Obviously a camp counsler

  • 82 70
    Submitted by IDKWTFTE94 on Aug 11, 10 at 1:41am

    poor kid lol

  • 92 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:42am

    OP you are an asshole, and a hilarious one indeed.

  • 91 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:33am

    so mean op...i love it!

  • 84 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:22am

    omg lol that kid is never going to eat candy again..

  • 90 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 3:48pm

    omg im totally using this when the holiday season rolls around

  • 89 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 12:24pm

    11:11 - particularly because most kids are on summer break right now, and Christmas season isn't for four more months. Duh.

  • 85 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 11:00am

    This is stolen from One Sentence Stories, and it was way better to read it on there. Lame of you to steal it.

  • 92 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:31am

    Shit the teacher should have grabbed it and said" And this looks like the good kind of bone" and shoved in down her throat..

  • 81 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:15pm

    -reposts in quotes on facebook-

  • 83 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:16am

    worst. teacher. ever.

  • 86 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:23pm

    This was already posted on onesentence. Lame.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 4:01pm

    Did the kid ever ask for candy again?

  • 84 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 25, 09 at 11:32am

    Lol Ima try that on my oldest

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 11:55pm

    AWESOME line. Who cares if it's a repost?

  • 88 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:23am

    hahaha, this is the best piece of information EVER. i'm gonna tell this to kids from now on. oh, and 10:06 - that one too. but maybe when they're a little older and know what cum is.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 7:54am

    AWESOME. have to remember that one.

  • 85 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 11, 09 at 9:29pm

    Ahhahahahha. It'd weird I know who posted this. :)

  • 86 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:29pm

    poor kid! hope u don't lubricate for a month for being such an a-hole.

  • 84 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 12:36pm

    thank you 11:00. I knew i had read it somewhere else.

  • 82 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:37am

    and eggnog is their blood

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:46am

    10:06 is from Dave Attell

  • 72 70
    Submitted by jma29 on Aug 15, 10 at 4:38am

    Yes! For the win.

  • 77 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 16, 09 at 2:21am

    awesome. pure awesome.

  • 82 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:19am

    And I thought I was mean to kids...

  • 80 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:12am

    Hahahaha I love it. I fucking love it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:12pm

    You just ruined this childs chance of ever making any friends.

  • 81 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:10am

    Ahahahaha! I have small children and I would feel awful saying this to them but...this is HILARIOUS!!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 5:40pm

    I'm shaking with laughter.

  • 77 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:31am

    ...that's worse than dogbert telling kids that school is where they fatten you up to eat you!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:50am

    10:46 ... no shit i thought id inform the world of the uninformed. thanks Capt. Obvious....

  • 63 68
    Submitted by EclecticPandora on Apr 26, 11 at 11:15pm

    Marry me.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:52am

    this...is...awesome!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:26pm

    Hmm, I would have just said candy canes were for elves with broken legs.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 11:11am

    this is stupid in general...no matter what site its on.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 1:13pm

    I feel famous because I know the guy that posted this.... :D