Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (804)

Last Night in Virginia (804)

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I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?

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(804): I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day? http://tfl.nu/ul99

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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.

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(804): I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together. http://tfl.nu/pd1t

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The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.

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(804): The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation. http://tfl.nu/w1hq

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hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.

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(804): hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too. http://tfl.nu/g160

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You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.

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(804): You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/xqs5

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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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(804): I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh http://tfl.nu/vuef

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Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

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Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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(804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz

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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.

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(804): Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one. http://tfl.nu/nql7

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Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.

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(804): Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare. http://tfl.nu/gxnn

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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...

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(804): It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left... http://tfl.nu/rixb

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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night

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(804): I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night http://tfl.nu/3prr

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I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

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(804): I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager. http://tfl.nu/fc01

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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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(804): If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks. http://tfl.nu/t0d1

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Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!

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(804): I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow! http://tfl.nu/cfk1

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Last Night in Virginia (804)

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